Hiking tips for first-time explorers…….You wanna know something funny? My first hike—like ever—ended with me sitting on a rock, crying, while eating a crushed granola bar with pine needles stuck to it. And here’s the kicker: I thought I was “prepared.” I had water (warm, in a plastic bottle I left in my car all day), sneakers with holes in them, and a backpack that was literally just my school bag from high school. Spoiler alert: I was not prepared.
That’s why I feel morally obligated to throw down these hiking tips for first-time explorers—so you don’t end up like me, begging a family of Boy Scouts for bug spray while pretending you’re “totally fine.”
Let’s just get into it (and no, this isn’t going to be one of those Pinterest-perfect lists written by someone who has never actually sweated through a cotton T-shirt halfway up a hill). This is the messy truth.
1. Don’t Wear Sneakers That Should’ve Been Retired in 2012
Listen. I know those old sneakers are “comfortable” and you don’t wanna buy fancy hiking boots yet. But your ankles? They’re begging you not to twist them on a loose rock. Trail shoes or boots are worth it—even if they just make you look like you belong on REI’s catalog.
Pro tip: if you’re broke, check thrift shops or outlet stores. I found a pair of Merrell boots for $25 once, and yes, I bragged about it for months.
2. Water is Life (But Don’t Bring a Gallon Jug Like I Did)
I legit carried a gallon milk jug full of water on my first hike. It sloshed around, bruised my thigh, and by the end, the handle cracked. Bring a reusable water bottle or hydration pack. Bonus: you’ll look like you know what you’re doing.
3. Snacks Matter More Than You Think
Trail mix is cliché but also… necessary. That said, don’t just grab whatever is in your pantry. You need quick energy food (nuts, granola bars, jerky, dried fruit). Once, I brought a tuna sandwich. Do you know what a tuna sandwich smells like after four hours in the sun? Regret.
4. Maps Are Sexy. Trust Me.
I know, you’ve got your phone and Google Maps. But guess what? Cell service dies faster than my motivation on Monday mornings. Download offline maps or grab a paper one. There’s nothing sexier than confidently saying, “We need to veer left at the next ridge.” (Okay maybe not sexy-sexy, but like… competent-sexy.)
5. Weather Apps Lie
If the app says “clear skies,” pack a rain jacket anyway. I’ve been rained on in July in Arizona. Nature doesn’t care about your forecast.
6. Sunscreen Isn’t Just for the Beach
I once skipped sunscreen on a “shaded” trail. My arms looked like lobster claws, and my backpack straps carved tan lines that made me look like a human zebra. Wear the sunscreen.
7. Start Short. Like, Embarrassingly Short.
Don’t let Instagram fool you into thinking your first hike should be a 12-mile mountain trek. Start with a two-mile loop. Get cocky later.
8. Tell Someone Where You’re Going
Even if it’s just a text: “Hey, if I don’t come back by 5, send a search party.” Because—dark truth—people get lost. A lot.
9. Layers > One Big Puffy Coat
Hiking is basically a game of “will I freeze or sweat buckets today?” Wear layers so you can strip down (not like that… unless it’s that kinda hike).
10. Bugs Are Ruthless
I thought bug spray was optional until I became a buffet for mosquitoes. Pack it. Use it. Don’t end up like me—itching for three days straight.
11. Headlamps Beat iPhone Flashlights
Sunset is sneaky. You think you’ll be back by dark, but suddenly you’re fumbling on rocks with 2% battery. A headlamp = hands free, less embarrassing.
12. Don’t Be the Loud Music Guy
Please, for the love of all things green, don’t blast music on a Bluetooth speaker. Birds > Bieber.
13. Respect the Trail Snacks Rule
Yes, squirrels are cute. No, don’t feed them your pretzels. They’ll get sick, aggressive, or worse—start expecting every hiker to deliver snacks like DoorDash.
14. Pack Light, But Not That Light
There’s minimalist, and then there’s “I forgot toilet paper and had to sacrifice a sock.” Don’t be that person.
15. Trash Rules Are Real
Whatever you bring in, bring out. If I see one more abandoned water bottle on a trail, I might lose it.
16. Buddy Up (At Least at First)
Solo hikes are magical but—if it’s your first time—go with a friend. Plus, you’ll have someone to laugh with when you trip over a root (you will trip over a root).
17. Enjoy the Dang View
This sounds cheesy, but hear me: don’t just power through to say you did it. Stop. Look around. Smell the pine trees. Take a dumb selfie. Hiking isn’t a competition, it’s a chance to actually notice the world isn’t all emails and grocery store lines.
The Messy Wrap-Up: Hiking tips for first-time explorers
If you’re still reading this, maybe you’re planning your first hike this weekend. Maybe you’re already packing crushed Nature Valley bars into a bag (be careful, those things explode into crumbs instantly).
Here’s the truth: hiking isn’t about doing it “right.” It’s about trying, messing up, laughing at yourself, and realizing—oh hey—I’m capable of climbing literal mountains.
And if you come back with pine needles in your granola bar? Honestly, that’s part of the charm.
Outbound Link Suggestions:
- A funny blog about bad first hikes: The Worst Hiking Trip Ever
- Pop culture nod (The Office fans will get it): Michael Scott’s Wilderness Adventure
✨ Okay. That’s it. 17 must-know hiking tips, with a little bit of my own humiliation baked in. Take what you need, ignore what you don’t. And for the love of your ankles—don’t wear those old sneakers.
